The Bigger Picture

Lately, I've been feeling "the winter blues" coupled with the daily grind of school.  I've been butting heads with a few of my kiddos.  The more experience I get in the classroom, the more confident I become and the less they are able to get away with.  I've been really frustrated with the level of disrespect that some of them have.  Don't get me wrong, the majority of my kids are great.  It's funny how just a few bad attitudes can really bring you down.
Anyway, today was the Goldilocks of school days: not too bad, not too good.  Then God gave me a little reminder about why I'm there.  During my plan, I have a few girls that come in to do work.  One girl initially came in because she had a question on her homework, but she ended up talking about what was going on in her life.  After school, I talked with another one of my girls for an hour and a half.  She opened up about so much that's happened in her life.  Tough stuff.  
It amazes me and absolutely breaks my heart that kids have to go through so much that young.  Yeah, there was bullying, drugs, and alcohol when I was a kid.  I was only really affected by bullying (somewhat) and was oblivious to drugs, alcohol, and sex partially because my friends weren't into that and partially because I wasn't at all interested.  I think kids nowadays have it much tougher because the bullying and the peer pressure follow the kids everywhere they go thanks to their phones and Facebook.  They can't escape it.  Many of them don't know where to turn and are desperate for affirmation, wherever they may find it.  
If a kid trusts you enough to open up about their life, take the time to listen.  Don't judge his/her mistakes.  Just listen.  Be kind and show them Jesus.  You may be the only adult to show them that you care.

Stillness

Be still and know that I am God. 

 Psalm 46:10 has been a verse that God has been whispering to me for awhile now. I struggle a lot with it too. Being still before God means that you are waiting. It means patience. It means giving up control. It means trusting God enough to work things out in His way and in His time.

 It's a difficult verse to carry out. I've got my own ideas about how my life should play out and I struggle with giving that up to God. It's frustrating because I know in my head that God's plan and His timing is the best, but my heart doesn't always want to listen. I can be rather stubborn. Some days, I am perfectly content and I feel God's blessing and presence surrounding me. Others, it's a fight from the moment I wake up until the moment I lay my head down to go to sleep. This cycle frustrates me...is there ever an end to it? 

I'm trying to become more intentional about the time that I spend with God. So often in my life, I've gone to other things or people before going to God. I realize that this is not what God wants from me. He needs to come first. Really, this is for our own good. God wants us to put Him first because He knows that which we often are quick to forget: that He is the ultimate comfort for our souls. Only He can satisfy the deepest yearnings of our hearts. I read this verse this morning and it really struck me: 

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul. --Psalm 94:19

When I depend on other people or things to meet my needs, I'm always left wanting.  When I'm hurting the most, God shows me that He is the only one who can comfort me down to the very depths of my soul.  When I feel alone, He shows me that He is right there.